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I wish more men and women knew more about this topic because as Heather Arnel Paulsen quotes in the book our hearts are truly "the wellspring of life." (Prov. Paulsen refers to two kinds of feelings: foundational and surface feelings, defining foundational feelings as "answers to our deep questions" and surface feelings as feelings that "change daily...depending on the situations." In my opinion, there is "knowing" and there is "feeling." What we 'know' would not change from day to day whereas what we "feel" would and does change from day to day. Wow, So I turned to this book at age 20 after several failed attempts & heartbreaks in the dating world.
I think that terminology in the book obscures logic as a means to knowing what is good, true and right. This book illuminated a new concept of "purity" that I had never considered.
Lately, I’ve also started facing the ways in which the teachings of “emotional purity,” (a la Josh Harris, the Ludys, and others) have damaged the part of my brain that makes healthy relationships function. You are considered damaged goods if you have fallen in love and had your heart broken. I remember watching a video in which one of the biggest names in the courtship movement bragged with obvious arrogance that he didn’t tell his wife he loved her until their wedding. We took something as simple as saying ‘I love you,’ built a straw man rule around it (‘saying I love you is defrauding’), then hung it like a trophy on our walls.” Job well done, folks. They create skewed views of relationships which lead to dysfunction. Where others see nothing wrong, I am suspicious of every look, every situation, every witty exchange. I feel ill at ease sometimes even talking to other men. I’m really good at pushing those feelings away and acting “normal.” But I am bothered by my reaction to everyday situations.
Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one…”One of the main concepts taught by advocates of “emotional purity” is that if you get emotionally attached to someone and the relationship doesn’t work out, then you’ve given “pieces of your heart” to him.
I would have really thought twice about freely giving my heart out to those who were ultimately undeserving. It really teaches you what it means to honor your spouse all the days of your life....including those days before you have even met "the one."The best snippet I took away from it all: God intended for marriage to be the image of Christ's love for the church (well yes, we know this from the bible) BUT...answer this.
I think every single girl interested in dating, marriage, boys, etc. Do you get to know Jesus, get intimate with him, tell him your dreams/desires, treat him like your everything and THEN give him a lifelong promise to have him in your heart forever? So why give a male/female so much of your heart, hopes, and dreams if there is no safety for the future.